that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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