people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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