last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
