This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How external is "for external use only"?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
