this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
