Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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