Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
