i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I am one with the molecules
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
