a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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