The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
