Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
