I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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