in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
