Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You can't motorboat a personality
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You have to summon your inner elephant
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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