Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'll just stay a virgin forever then

(1-856): View more from New Jersey

You still have to go anyway

(856): View more from New Jersey

Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she woke up with a sticky ear

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do

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(760): View more from California

i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.

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(727): View more from Florida

found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?

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(616): View more from Michigan

Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.

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(513): View more from Ohio

In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.

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