im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
