The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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