It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
