Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
