How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
