I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The beer is more important than you right now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
