Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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