Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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