cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
