Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
