Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm sobbing to NWA
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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