Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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