No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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