East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
how drunk are you?
Several
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
