I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
