He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
