you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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