Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
