i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
