do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize