All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
