Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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