the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
