the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
