never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
