So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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