We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
