I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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