I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
