the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
