And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
