I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
