I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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