WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
