But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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