We won't sleep together?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Randomize
